


another broken hallelujah

by darkducktales



Category: Brave (2012), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Merida, Angst, Bucket Load of Angst, Coming of Age, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Non-Linear Narrative, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, astrid i'm so sorry sweetie you deserve better, be warned, i little women'd this bitch, study of mythology and storytelling, the big four was 2012 but here i go, this is sooo sad man, unrequited Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood)/Rapunzel (Disney)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 14:30:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21447742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkducktales/pseuds/darkducktales
Summary: Lifetime best friends Hiccup and Merida have always been friends and companions, except when they weren't.
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Hiccup Haddock III & Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood) & Merida (Disney) & Rapunzel (Disney), Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Merida (Disney), Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Pitch Black (Guardians of Childhood), Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Merida (Disney), Merida & Rapunzel (Disney), Merida (Disney)/Pitch Black (Guardians of Childhood), Seraphina Pitchiner & Merida (Disney)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	another broken hallelujah

**Author's Note:**

> you all: ah shit, here we go again. 
> 
> Hey! Long time no see, and here I am again, writing another multi-chapter fic while I have a perfectly good fic that needs to be updated. 
> 
> A Single Thread's Purpose... will be updated! I promise! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading this brain child that shouldn't have been given life! I hope y'all have a good day and I appreciate you all!

**i.**

She feels like a shitty person. She _ is _a shitty person. 

Merida takes a sip of her coke to drown out the acrid taste in her mouth when she watches Hiccup and Astrid sharing fries. 

It used to be normal watching them like this - sharing things like food, drink, and clothing (she also saw them share spit in a bar but that’s a memory that she wants to wash out with bleach). 

She tries to ignore the itchiness in her skin. She picks the loose threads on the vinyl booth she is sitting in instead. 

When she finally meets his green eyes, they almost look accusatory. She wants to yell and throw something at her childhood best-friend, but she’s too tired of Hiccup’s furtive glances and Astrid’s belief that the girl sitting across from her is actually a good friend. 

Instead, she gives a fake yawn and says that she’s tired. When Astrid asks if she needs a ride, Merida shakes her head and says that she’s got it covered (ignoring Hiccup’s look of relief).

When she is safely out of sight from the couple, she pulls her coat over herself to keep out the evening chill. She calls Rapunzel for a ride and texts Jack a message. 

** _frosty jackass_ **

** _sent 8:30 pm_ **

** _save a seat for me at the unrequited feelings table. _ **

As Rapunzel’s huge, cherry red truck(which is almost laughable if you compare the vehicle to Punzie herself), she hears a _ ping _on her phone. 

** _seen at 8:45 pm_ **

** _cherry bomb_ **

** _you wanna checkered table cloth or one covered in hearts??_ **

Merida snorts at the message, but she quickly puts her phone in her pocket when Rapunzel pulls up. She quickly opens the door and practically jumps into the surprisingly comfortable leather seats. 

“So…what’s goin’ on? You usually ride with Astrid and Hic back to your apartment.” Warm green eyes look into Merida’s blue ones, and she wants to sigh in relief. 

“You get bored at being a third wheel every once and awhile.” She answers.

“But you usually-” 

Merida glares at her friend. “Just drop it, Rapunzel.” 

The space in the truck is now filled with tension as her friend pulls out of the restaurant driveway. She doesn’t usually call her friend “Rapunzel.” It was either “Punz” or “Punzie” and Merida couldn’t help but rub her temple in exchaustion. God, this evening was giving her a huge headache. 

She sees Rapunzel nervously fiddle with the radio station, and she feels automatically guilty. Rapunzel is like the little sister she never had(even though Punzie was older than her by two years), and she was honestly helping Merida by giving her a lift. _ Good job at being sixteen and mad at your mother again. _She thought. 

“Punzie, I’m really sorry.” Her voice feels so soft even to her own ears. “Just- applying to graduate school is giving me unbelievable hell. And to top it all off, practically everyone else is moving on with their lives, and I feel like I’m at a standstill. I-I’m sorry about how took my stress out on you. You don’t deserve it.” 

Rapunzel’s concerned eyes meet Merida’s for a second before they trail back to the road again. “It’s okay. I get it. Ever since I started my job at FEGA, I felt like I’ve reached my peak. I’ve always wanted to explore the world, Mer, and being stuck in one place- besides the occasional two hour trips to another city- puts a damper on your childhood dreams.” 

Merida gives a side-smirk at her best friend. “Eugene would take you anywhere if you asked. He’s whipped, Punzie, _ whipped.” _

A light giggle comes from her the driver herself. “That’s the problem. He would drain our life savings if I asked for a world tour of Europe.” 

Now a content silence is between the two friends as Rapunzel stops at the last redlight before they reach Merida’s apartment. 

“You know…” Rapunzel’s imploring tone makes Merida roll her eyes. 

“You know…?” 

“It’s not just graduate school that is making you stressed out, Mer.” This might be the longest red light of her life.

“I see the way you look at Hic-” 

Merida’s face turns bright red as she sits up ramrod straight. “The _ way _I look at Hiccup?” 

“Yep.” Her friend replies. “I know love when I see it.” 

Merida wants to laugh because Jack-freakin-Frost has been pining over Punzie’s ass since high school, and she doesn’t have a clue, but the mortifying truth that is coming from her mouth puts Merida in the defense. 

“Please, I love him like a sister loves a brother. Secondly, Hiccup and Astrid are going to be the old married couple that bickers over cat litter. I wouldn’t even have a chance!” As Merida is saying this, Rapunzel looks less convinced and that is when she drops the cards. Rapunzel wins. 

“Was I that obvious?” 

She groans when Rapunzel gives her an “Mhhm.” 

“Does everyone know?” Her voice is strained, and Jesus Christ, she sounds _ pathetic. _

“Ya...everyone but Hiccup and Astrid.” _ Just Astrid. _ Merida thinks. _ And I’m a shitty person. _“May I ask you something?” 

“Why not. Shoot. I’m resigned to my fate at this point.” 

Punzie rolls her eyes, but a flicker of worry crawls in. “How long?” 

The light turns green, and she’s sure she looks the same. Suddenly, her stomach is filled with knots, and the truck’s interior is crowding around her. It’s useless to lie to Rapunzel because it’s like lying to a priest (even though Punzie would detest that comparison). 

“I don’t know.” Merida whispered. “I think I loved him from the beginning.”

  
  


**ii**

An eight year old Merida meets an eleven year old Hiccup on a rainy day, and she automatically says that he looks funny in his suit. Her mother gasps and nudges her daughter, “That was rude, Merida! Apologize!” 

Instead, the big red headed man named Stoick chuckles and says,”Blunt one, aren’t you lass.” He ruffles her auburn curls with his large palm in jest. Large blue eyes look up at Stoick in wonder. The man’s voice has a gruff norwegian accent, and it sounds exotic compared to the plain-jane american accents and the soft, broguish tones of her parents that she has grown up with. 

Elinor sighs and nudges Merida towards Hiccup. “C’mon, Merida. That was a rude thing to say. Apologize.” 

Merida’s eyes turn from Stoick to Hiccup. He does look funny in his suit. The jacket looks like it might swallow him whole, his loafers make his feet more cartoonish, and his tie is lying on his shoulder. He’s also wet from the rain which makes him look even funnier. 

She instantly feels bad when her eyes connect with Hiccup’s because he clearly looks uncomfortable, and she also knows how itchy formal clothing can be. So she walks over to him and looks him straight in the eye. “I’m sorry for saying that you look funny.” 

The boy nervously smiles back at her. “It’s okay.” He says. His voice sounds unsure, like he doesn’t know the right words to say. After a quick glance over, she extends her hand to him (because it’s polite, like mom said). “I’m Merida. Do you want to be my friend?”

“Hiccup.” He tentevally shakes her hand. He looks at his father for guidance, but he only gets a small smile. He turns back to Merida, showing a gap in his teeth. “Ya...I would like to be your friend.” 

Merida laughs as she practically drags Hiccup to the attic to play. 

As she’s setting up her toy knights, Hiccup scratches his neck. “What do you like to do for fun?” 

“Play with knights, shoot arrows, and listen to stories.” She answers quickly. She knows what she likes to do, and hopes that Hiccup likes doing the same things as her.

“Me too. I-uh like listening to stories. Especially ones with dragons.” 

“Dragons?” Merida quickly turns around to face her new friend. “Which ones?” 

Hiccup quicky colors. “No one has asked me that before.” 

“Why is that?” She cocks her head in question. 

He mumbles, “Because no one cares.” 

“Well I care.” She huffs. She crosses her arms and pouts at Hiccup. “Which ones?” 

Now Hiccup has this far-off look in his eyes. “_ The Tale of the Night Fury _is one of my favorites.” 

“What is it?” 

“Well...the Night Fury is one of the most dangerous dragons out there…” Merida is now raptured in the tale of the Night Fury, and of the brave viking who became his friend. When Hiccup finishes the story, Merida is staring at him in astonishment. “What does he look like? What’s his name?” 

“Erm..uh...Toothless! And he looks like…” He turns to the stack of blank papers on the toy desk. “Can I borrow a pencil and a sheet of paper, Mer?” 

If she didn’t adore Hiccup now, she _ adored _him when he called her “Mer”. She bobs her head yes, and that gap toothed smile shown again. 

When it was time for Hiccup to go home, she fell asleep with the sketch of the Night Fury in her arms. 

Maybe it was the sketch that started it all. 

**iii **

Merida’s eleven when Stoick’s big hand encases her own, and he gently holds it like a lifeline. 

She hasn’t been to the hospital since the triplets were born and she doesn’t remember most of it. Now she’s glad for not remembering because now the antiseptic and bleach smell make her want to hurl her lunch out. 

Hiccup’s emergency surgery has made everyone as pale as ghosts, but no one has told her why her friend has been hurt in the process. (They’ll tell her later that someone hadn’t been paying attention to the road and almost ran over a child that was playing with Toothless but Hiccup leaped towards the road and pushed the child and the cat out of the way. Her mother says that Stoick should press charges, but both the Haddock men looked too withdrawn and worn-out so no one mentioned it again). 

Apparently, the car ran over Hiccup’s lower left leg, and shattered the bones completely so they had to amputate it. The Dunbroch family dropped everything when they heard Stoick’s voice on the phone. Merida asked if they should bring Toothless along, but the hospital didn’t allow pets. 

When the doctor comes out to say that the operation was successful, everyone sighs in relief. Merida is relieved but is also drowsy from sitting in one place for so long. Stoick lets go of her hand and pats it gently as he stands up to listen to the doctor’s report. 

After that is finished, he looks down at Merida and asks if she could take care of Toothless for him while Hiccup rests in the hospital. She nods gravley because she knows that the giant cat means so much to him. 

As her parents drive her to Hiccup’s house, she asks her father, “Can Hiccup still become a pilot?” 

Fergus chews his lips in contemplation for a few seconds. “I dunno my darlin’. I dunno.” 

  
  


Stoick lets the Dunborchs stay at the Haddock household, and Merida cuddles Toothless close to her chest as she remembers Hiccup’s smile when he talked about flying. 

_ “One day, I’ll take you with me.” _

  
  


The next day, she somehow smuggles Toothless into her backpack as she visits Hiccup. Not even her mother knows about it becauses Toothless is so still in her backpack. 

When she enters the hospital room, she almost blanches. Hiccup seems so lifeless, so pale and drawn out. 

She walks in slowly, walking with a subtly that only an eleven year old possesses. When Merida is at his bedside, she unzips her backpack and plops Toothless onto the bed. Hiccup stirs as she puts her hand in his. It’s warm and a little bit clammy, but she doesn’t mind. 

Hiccup’s green eyes open, and that is when Toothless takes the time to lick his nose and paw at his cheeks. “What’re you doing here, Toothless?” His voice sounds hoarse and unused. 

Blurry green eyes finally find blue ones as he gives her a goofy grin. “I should’ve known.” 

“He’s not supposed to be here.” She whispers. 

“I know.” He whispers back. “Thank you for letting him in.” Hiccup starts to pet his cat, and Toothless purrs in contentment. 

The room is silent for a few minutes, except for the purrs and the tapping of Merida’s foot. She tries not to rub her head because Hiccup would know that something is bothering her, and he shouldn’t be worried now. 

“C’mere.” Hiccup whispers again. He scoots over so that Merida can have room to lay beside him. 

That’s all Merida needed to hear because she toes off her shoes and snuggles close to Hiccup, making her feel something light and warm in her belly. Her forehead is touching his chest; she can feel the heartbeat pounding through his hospital shift.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. They’re so close that his breath tickles the wisps of her curls. 

She snuggles closer to his chest so that he can't see her face. “Are you scared?” 

There is an intake of breath from Hiccup. “Why would I be scared.” 

Merida huffs in frustration as she extracts herself from his warm embrace. She looks up into his eyes, a defiant lift in her chin. “You’re lying if you say you’re not scared.” _ Your eyes seem so far away. _She thought. Hiccup’s eyes were not meeting hers, and if they did, she was scared that they would see right through her. 

When he meets her eyes again, she feels like she has won another battle. “I’m scared.” His voice cracks just a bit. In that vulnerability, she raises her hand and touches her hand to HIccup’s cold cheek. 

“It’s okay to be scared.” She whispers. “I can be brave for you.” 

Then the sunlight from the window slants lightly, and it makes the green eyes that she staring into look like a stained-glass window. Her heart starts to beat when he’s looking at her the way he looks about when he talks about flying. He’s looking at her like she’s a charcoal drawing that he loves to admire in an art gallery, and her eleven-year-old self cannot comprehend the many emotions that are going on inside her. She feels some kind of warmth under her ribs and the feeling is _ euphoric. _

Looking back on the memory, she realizes that Hiccup didn’t need to put her on a stupid airplane to feel the freedom of flying. He could look at her the same way he did in the hospital and she would feel it from the tips of her fingers all the way up into her heart. There is a constant litany in her head when she remembers that feeling. _ You won’t have to take me anywhere to fly, I’d already be there with you. _

  
  


**iv**

“...Earth to Merida.” She sees Rapunzel’s waving hand in front of her face and grunts a reply, signifying that she just came back down to earth. 

“You scared me there for a second. I was going to tell you that we’re here.” 

“We’re already here?” _ When? _

“Merida, are you sure you’re alright?” Merida’s mouth felt dry as she looked into her friend’s eyes. 

“Ya. _ Ya.” _She clears her throat as she makes towards the car door. “I’m fine. I-I’ll call you later.” 

“Alright, Mer.” Rapunzel reaches over the car console and embraces her. Merida stiffens at first, but melts into her friend’s embrace. 

“Thank ya, Punzie.” She whispers 

“Of course, “ Rapunzel pulls back from the hug and gives her a radiant smile, “now get out of my car and go to bed.” 

“Yes_ Mom.” _ They both chuckle as Merida grabs her house-keys, her wallet, and her phone. She gives Punzie a final wave as she closes the car door. She quickly jogs up the stairs to her second story apartment and unlocks the red painted door. 

“Honey I’m home!” Merida calls. The small, empty apartment is quiet as she turns on the lights. _ One. Two. Three. _She counts in her head. Then a pattering of feet signify another organism in the place. 

“Hello Angus! Have you been a good boy for Mama?” Angus II, named after her loyal friend, was a golden cocker spaniel that was a gift from her parents when she got her “first adult job” as an intern at a well known publishing company. Calling it a job was a little bit of a stretch, but her mother didn’t care. Now Merida wanted desperately out of the publishing world in order to teach. Hey, it wouldn’t be a lucrative career but at least she had Angus. 

After satisfying Angus with his wet-food, Merida checks her email since it has become her academic bread and butter.

**TO: **dunbrochmer@porteruni.org

**FROM: **pitchinerkoz@porteruni.org

**SUBJECT: **TA Openings 

Dear Ms. Dunbroch,

I have been very impressed by your work in my class. Your essays synthesising how mythology measures a culture’s beliefs and traditions when it comes to intimacy is astounding. 

I’m in need of a TA and I have heard that you have been accepted into the graduate program. Your talent and work ethic have exceeded my expectations and it is so refreshing. 

If you are interested in this opportunity, please contact me immediately. I trust you know when my office hours are because the paper-work is in my office, and I can answer any questions that you have. 

Best Regards, 

Kozmotis Pitchiner P.h.D

Merlin’s College 

Porter University 

  
  


Merida finds her hands shaking as she re-reads the email again and again. Professor Pitch was a _ brilliant _ professor, but always came off as stoic and cold when he wasn’t teaching. Only in the upper level classes did you ever hear him crack a joke. To be fair, when Pitch makes a joke, it’s a _ damn _good joke. 

The first time that she had one of his classes, she was with Jack. In short: Jack made it his mission to make Pitch _ fucking pissed. _Even if Merida was involved willingly or not in his schemes, he didn’t want to strangle her. In the next semester, she had his class again - she truly enjoyed 18nth century Russian literature, and Pitch taught it with so much sincerity and empathy, no matter who the main character was.

When she returned the next semester, it was only her. Even though Jack jokingly accused Pitch of being the boogeyman because of his demeanor alone, there was a warmth and softness to him that wouldn’t be seen by a bunch of young adults. The only personal detail seen about him was the picture of him and his daughter at the front of his desk smiling. 

There as no picture of his, however. 

Merida bit her nails as she thought this over. She was going to be assigned to someone eventually, so why not with someone who she respects and enjoys working with. 

Merida responds, and with shaky fingers, she hits the **_send_** button. 

As she tries to go to sleep tonight, she keeps thinking of that day in the hospital mixed with the email from Pitch. As her thoughts suddenly turn hazy, her phone vibrates. _ Great, when I’m about to fall asleep! _

She grumbles as she stretches her arm to get her phone. Her eyes squint when she sees the brightness of the phone, but her heart frantically burns when she sees what has appeared on screen. 

** _hic is typing… _ **

Merida hurriedly unlocks her phone and clicks on the messenger app. She sees the three dots appear and disappear, then reappear. She feels like she is in the twilight zone as her eyes greedily wait for what’s to come. 

Expect nothing happens. The bubble with the three dots disappear leaving no messages in its wake. 

  
Curling into bed, she sets the phone down hard on her pillow. She’s shaking, tears filling her eyes. _ What the fuck have you done Merida? _


End file.
